So many engaged couples are embarrassed to discuss money matters before they get married.  Based on my experience, if you cannot discuss financial matters with your loved one before you get married, it is almost inevitable that you will have problems related to financial matters during your married life.  It is not the amount of money that you have that matters but what you intend to do with it and how you expect to manage it.  You could be very lucky and have all the money you will need until you retire at the time you get married by virtue of anticipated inheritance.  However, nothing is sure in this world and all of that could easily be lost with wrong management of finances.

Many times, the family environment you grew in will dictate your reaction to money.  One of you may be always saving or even downright stingy and the other might not care about money and may even be a spendthrift.  During the courtship period, your real personalities may not be immediately obvious since you are trying to show your best side.  I suggest that you tell each other frankly how you view money.  Ask each other how you will view your success and the role of money in that success.  If it turns out that your ideas about finances are not compatible, both of you will have a better understanding on how to accept each other for what you are or to agree on how you will both overcome the differences.  There is also the option to postpone the marriage or cut the relationship if the issues are truly irreconcilable and you can see that love might not be enough, in the long run.

You have to both agree on your lifestyle. Understand how much money and also how much debt each of you already have.  If there is debt, you have to agree on how it will be paid.  Be open about how much each of you earns and what you expect to be spending as a married couple.  Do not leave the decision of what to spend on a day-to-day basis.  This could lead to unnecessary misunderstandings on how much each should be spending on specific items.  Having a budget will help you agree on the kind of lifestyle you should live to be able to reach certain goals.  For example, you can aim to have a car within a year, a house within five years etc.

Having children is also another matter that has to be discussed in relation to finances.  How you raise your children will depend on the time you will have.  If both of you have to work for your chosen lifestyle, obviously, you will have to share the raising of your children with yayas or your parents.

More on this in the next blog.